Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize