I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
