dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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