I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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