he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize