how can u be prego again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
