batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
