he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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