it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
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