Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
