I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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