I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
