"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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