you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I want her autograph on my taint
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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