Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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