mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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