I wish I only lived at night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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