Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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