Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
time to smoke my breakfast
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
