Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
