I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
