He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
