Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
