.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
