I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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