Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
