I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we're making bets on your personal life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
