ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize