so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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