and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
