names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize