In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish I only lived at night.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you win again, gameday.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
