her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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