Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Randomize
