So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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