waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
