I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
