Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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