Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
