i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
