I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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