I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
