Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
