Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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