Quick, to the slutcave!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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