dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
