he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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