you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
