i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
