I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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