she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
