I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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