That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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