I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
