Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
