I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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