I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize