it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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