Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
