Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
