either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
